Jesus Did Not Want to Die

Matthew 26.36-46
Mark 14.32-42
Luke 22.39-46

I do not know what I believe about the connection between Jesus and God (the Son and the Father), but I would like to explore one aspect of Jesus' knowledge (or lack thereof).

If Jesus is completely God (as ecumenical councils and common Christian theology would seem to teach), then what's the deal with what God wants vs. what Jesus wants, or what God knows vs. what Jesus knows? I do not believe that Jesus was omniscient, I believe that if he was, he would not be completely human. I would like to bring up something that I believe is biblically undeniable: Jesus did not want to be crucified.

Now this may seem like something elementary. "Of course," we may say, "of course he did not want to be crucified...who would?" However, what do we risk when we say this?

Jesus prayed to God in the garden of Gethsemane. Regardless of the problem present when we ask "Did Jesus pray to himself? What's the point?" it must be recognized that Jesus prayed that "the hour might pass from him" (Mark version; in Matthew and Luke he prays for the "cup" to pass from him). In Matthew and Mark, Jesus reportedly says "if it is possible" before he makes his request. This implies that Jesus did not know what was possible (otherwise he wouldn't have said "if"). The gospel of John does not include Jesus' prayer and states that he knew what was going to happen. This is not surprising from John, because John's Jesus is very much in control of most every situation. As John is likely the latest and most theologically evolved, the fourth gospel will be set aside from this discussion, as it bears no texts on this prayer.

So now it seems that Jesus did not know what was going to happen (he no doubt had a good idea, otherwise he wouldn't have prayed this in the first place, but he still thought that there was a possibility that it wouldn't happen). Not only did he not know whether or not what was going to happen to him, but if what he thought was correct, then he did not want to do it.

This is somewhat troubling to popular theology. Jesus and God did not want the same thing. Jesus' will was not to be crucified. He kept going back from waking up the disciples and praying the same thing. As Luke puts it: "yet, not my will but yours be done." This directly implies that God's will and Jesus' will were not the same. Jesus did not want to do what was required of him. He only wanted to so far as he was willing to.

For example, when one compromises to make happy the spouse, they in turn are happy because they made the other happy. It is not that one wants to compromise, but only wants to so far as they are willing. This, I believe, is what is present in the synoptic gospels' account of Jesus' prayer.

Jesus did not want to be crucified. He probably didn't want to die at all. He didn't know what God was going to decide to send him through, but he was willing.

I do not think that it is troublesome to say that the will of Jesus was not the same as the will of God, but some people whose Christology is much higher than mine would probably take issue. I believe that most Christians would have problems with that statement. I believe that statement is firmly established in the passages of Scripture mentioned above.

What does this mean then?

It seems that Jesus' connection with God did not include omniscience. It seems that Jesus' connection with God did not include the power to change the events himself. He was praying to God that God would change the events, because he didn't want to go through with it, and was hoping that maybe he wouldn't have to. What does this do about Atonement theories then? Jesus didn't want to die for the sins of the world? Jesus didn't want Christianity to be founded? One could argue that if the crucifixion and resurrection (since there couldn't be a resurrection without his death) did not happen, then Christianity would not exist, and we'd all be Jewish. That seems to be what Jesus prayed for. If Jesus didn't want to be crucified, then one could say that he had no idea what his death would mean. He didn't know that he was the perfect sacrificial lamb. He didn't know he was going to take the sins of the world upon him. He didn't know, and because of that, he didn't want to do it. This challenges us to rethink what we think about the crucifixion and what Jesus' death really meant. If Jesus didn't even know the results of his death, then how much are we allowed to read into it?

This makes Jesus a lot more human than most Christians may want to admit. I think this is very important though. Jesus suffered as we do. He was uncertain about things. He didn't know how the future was going to happen. He didn't know what God was going to do next. He was a scared human being who repeatedly prayed for there to be another way. His request was not granted.

That's something that we should take note of. God did not grant Jesus' request. Jesus, this "Son of God," this "Messiah," the great "I AM" in the flesh...couldn't ask hard enough to escape his fate. What we should also observe is that Jesus accepted God's will over his will. Jesus probably was pretty sure that God wasn't going to let him off the hook, and he accepted it. He said that God's will in his life should take precedence over his own human will. This is the example to follow. What is there to learn if we say that Jesus wasn't really praying for God to change his mind? What would it benefit us to view this as Jesus talking to himself for therapeutic reasons? The greatest lesson we can learn from these passages are when we look at Jesus as a scared human who doesn't know what's going to happen, but accepts the will of God in his life. This is as we all must do. We, like Jesus, are men incapable of knowing everything God is going to do. We should learn to pray as Jesus did, that God's will be done, not ours.